Maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration.
There is this myth that the media shows us that marriage is the happily ever after, the end of the line, the happy ending, the conclusion. But once you get married you quickly begin to realize that marriage is just the beginning of a whole new story that comes with its own trials and tribulations. VOMD and I are working to become better partners, more supportive of one another, more open to each other's views and opinions, and hopes and dreams. But being married didn't magically make us experts.
So, here are some lessons that I've learned since getting married.
1. Things that you (or your partner) did to one another before you were married, and things that you said will be excused by the statement "yeah, but we weren't married yet back then". This can be very frustrating on the receiving end.
2. You will not suddenly become comfortable with your partner's bodily functions, but they may feel like you should be and leave the door open while pooping in the morning or suggest that you pee while they brush their teeth.
3. You will not stop fighting, but half way through a fight it will not be uncommon to start thinking to yourself why the hell are we fighting? this is so stupid...I should just say sorry....we're married after all.. That being said, thinking that and actually saying it and ending the fight are two different stories.
4. The things that you got as wedding gifts may become sacred objects...and putting those nice shiny forks and knives in the dishwasher, or leaving the coffee grinds in the coffee pot become taboo.
5. Conversations about the future stop being magical and become pragmatic - you can no longer casually suggest that you may want to live on the other side of the world for a year without expecting a long and drawn out discussion of the implications and practicability of that proposition.
6. Really mundane things like watching your partner cook, clean or cuddle your animal friends become incredibly sexy in a way they never were before. Perhaps this is because your biological clock is ticking and you link these activities with their potential ability to be a good parent...
7. EVERYONE will begin asking you when you're going to have babies. Even if you want babies, like VOMD and I, it can become incredibly frustrating.
Altogether, being married has so far been a great experience. I love VOMD more with every day, and in totally new and unexpected ways. I am learning to love the things about him that I would have liked to change before we got married - like his insistence on taking his pants off in the hallway, or his unwillingness to put the toilet seat down because, in his words "it's not my responsibility to make sure you don't fall in the toilet when you get up to pee in the middle of the night"!
Happy Monday,
J
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